Got an e-mail to upgrade to 4 GB or change server. The choice was easy to be made.
Good decision. I have NEVER seen a kiwitrees installation that needs even close to those memory figures.
My own tree is about twice the size of yours, including more than twice as many media items, and I operate comfortably with 128MB.
I have a hosting client whose tree is greater than 70,000 individuals, plus media etc. and that still works well at 256MB.
BUT the server needs to be well setup and managed. Kiwitrees hosting uses a New Zealand hosting business that I have worked with for over 10 years. They know what the software needs and works with me to achieve it.
Sadly many people struggle to accept that with web hosting “you get what you pay for”.